You can change it!
Don’t ask “Why did you choose that”?
This is not a choice. The discussion on the theories of sexual orientation or gender identity is never ending, but for a person who is homosexual, bisexual or transgender, this may not be the most important feature in her/his life and this person does not need to know all the theories and explain them to every stranger. Nobody would choose to be excluded from family and friends, nobody would want difficulties in the labor market as well as other parts of life. We can tell that from a biological point of view this is not so simple. Think about it, you don’t go around explaining why you’re straight.
Change your language!
Language is a powerful tool. It can manifest reality as well as create a new one. Not only hate speech, but also something a person does’t even think could be offensive can be indeed. For example, words like “disease”, “faggot”, “transvestite” to describe a trans*person, or phrases like “I’m sorry for you”, “it’s normal” or “it’s not normal” only manifest existing preconceptions, well-rooted in our society. An important thing to keep in mind is that reality changes, and so can language. Step forward and change your language! Use the names and pronoun that people introduce themselves with. Use the inclusive term LGBT instead of repeating “gay”, because there are not only straight and gay people in the world, there are also lesbian, bisexual, transgender and transsexual persons, as well as intersex or queer.
Don’t be silent and don’t ignore offensive behaviors!
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
– Desmond Tutu
Don’t be silent when someone is joking about one’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Silence does not solve the problem, and some jokes may hurt people for life, even if you did not think they could. Always let people know that you are not OK with that and that you don’t tolerate discrimination, offensive jokes, phrases and harmful behaviors, and explain why. Express your opinion. This way you can create an atmosphere where there simply is no space for bullying.
React naturally!
If somebody comes out to you it means you’re a trustworthy person. React naturally. Don’t ignore what you have just heard: don’t judge and don’t be too excited. Don’t forget that it’s not easy to come out in our society.The person that came out to you must really trust you. Don’t ask “Why are you telling me this?”, but also don’t say “I don’t care”, because if a person came out to you, it means that she/he wants to share this very important part of her/his life with you. This may not change your relationship, but it can make them even more sincere.
Be a positive example!
Be a positive example by stating your position on questions of social justice. By telling and doing you create a social change and positive examples want to be spread! Don’t sit quiet if you care!
Educate yourself and change!
Be responsible and don’t forget social reality. Inform yourself on questions of human rights and their situation in Lithuania and in the world and talk about it. Don’t think that “everything is fine and nobody is discriminated” – there is always a way to go, learn and step forward! Statistics show that a lot of people live under harsh conditions just because of the wrong attitudes of society towards sexual orientation or gender identity. Change this opinion!
Begin with yourself!
Start with these simple tips and take it as an opportunity to learn more, to be a better friend and a more sensitive person.
Usually people who don’t know any LGBTQ person immediately oppose them just because they are different.
If you see that an employee is abused and being bullied because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, they will feel much better if at least one person stands up for them. Hate speech flourishes the best when not countered “from the top” and when the victim doesn’t receive any support.
Teachers also tend to be intolerant during lessons. There are a lot of terms that have the prefix hetero or homo- in science. Sometimes teachers try to avoid the prefix “homo”. For example:
– Look, it is a homomorphism, but why it’s written so…
– Yes, apparently they didn’t want to use the word “homo”.
There is absolutely no point in beating up a person because they are dressed differently and don’t look straight.
Each person is unique < …> therefore when you’re speaking to a non- straight person, you shouldn’t be categorical. Try to understand that not only they might be wrong, but after all, you might be wrong too. Condemnation hurts and closes possibilities for any discussion.