“Teachers refused to address my daughter by her name and said that nothing would change until her identity documents were updated.” This is how one parent who participated in a study conducted by LGL, Lithuania’s national LGBT rights organisation, described their child’s experience.
To an adult, this may seem like an administrative matter: if identity documents contain a previous name or gender marker, the school supposedly has no choice but to follow them. For the child, however, it is a daily reminder that their wellbeing and identity remain unacknowledged at school. For parents, it means another conversation with teachers, another meeting with school administrators, and another attempt to explain why respectfully using their child’s chosen name and pronouns matters for their emotional wellbeing.
The problem goes beyond a single name in a class register. It shows what happens when the education system lacks clear guidance on protecting the safety, privacy and dignity of transgender and non-binary pupils. Decisions then depend on the knowledge and personal attitudes of individual teachers, psychologists or school leaders. In one school, a child encounters understanding; in another, they are told that their documents must be changed first.
The study reveals systemic gaps, not isolated misunderstandings
LGL’s study included an analysis of documents and legislation, 21 semi-structured interviews, and an online survey of adolescents. We spoke to 11 parents of transgender or non-binary children aged 16–18, as well as 10 professionals working in education, child rights protection, social policy and other fields.
The Lithuanian sample of the adolescent survey comprised 110 respondents, of whom 92 identified as LGBTIQ+ and 18 did not. The survey is not representative of all adolescents in Lithuania, so its findings cannot automatically be applied to the entire population. However, alongside the interviews and analysis of other sources, these data help identify recurring problems that institutions would be irresponsible to ignore.
As many as 68.1% of the LGBTIQ+ adolescents surveyed reported experiencing humiliation, exclusion or physical violence at school or at the hands of members of the school community. Among respondents who did not identify as LGBTIQ+, 41% reported such experiences.
Negative experiences were not confined to school. Among LGBTIQ+ respondents, 47.8% reported experiencing violence or humiliation within their families, while 41.1% reported such experiences in public spaces or when accessing public services.
The most frequently reported reason for mistreatment was a young person’s clothing, behaviour or self-expression, cited by 35.6% of respondents. Sexual orientation was identified as a reason by 20.5%, physical appearance by 11%, and being transgender by 8.2%. This shows that negative reactions are not triggered solely by an openly disclosed identity. Children whose appearance or behaviour does not conform to prevailing gender norms also become targets of bullying.
Why are children more likely to turn to friends for help?
One of the study’s most striking findings is the low level of trust in institutional support at school. After experiencing violence or humiliation, only 14.1% of LGBTIQ+ respondents reported it to a teacher, and just 12.5% approached another member of school staff. Meanwhile, 56.2% told their friends about the experience, and 48.4% sought professional psychological support.
When asked who provided them with support, as many as 82.8% of respondents named friends. Only 6.2% regarded teachers as supportive figures, compared with 21.9% who named mental health professionals and 29.7% who named family members.
Support from friends is an important source of resilience for young people. However, adolescents should not have to take responsibility for a friend’s safety when that friend faces bullying, exclusion or a psychological crisis. If a child who has been harmed turns first to their peers, we need to ask whether they know which adult at school will listen, maintain confidentiality and take action.
The professionals interviewed acknowledged that they often lacked the knowledge needed to respond to bullying based on sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, protect confidentiality, and support a transgender pupil. Some educators said they did not know “what is allowed”, particularly when it came to using a chosen name and pronouns or communicating with the child’s family.
School administrators also fear complaints from other parents, public disputes and accusations of spreading “LGBT ideology”. In these circumstances, silence can seem like the easiest option. But for a child, silence is not a neutral decision. When bullying based on sexual orientation or gender identity is not explicitly recognised, the child does not know whether reporting it will lead to support. When adults avoid discussing their experiences, children are left to decide for themselves which adults they can trust.
Families become informal educators of institutions
The interviews with parents revealed another problem: the support system often starts working only when families take the initiative themselves. Parents search for a psychologist who understands their child, negotiate with the school, gather information, protect their child’s privacy, and explain to professionals what gender identity means and what their child needs.
Some families described having to start from scratch at every new institution. Instead of receiving consistent support, they encounter separate systems that neither cooperate with one another nor follow shared principles.
This ongoing advocacy takes time and emotional energy. Parents must not only support their own child but also educate teachers, psychologists, healthcare professionals and child rights specialists. For many, the experiences of other families become an important source of support. As one parent said about meeting families in similar circumstances: “We realised we were not alone.”
This highlights the significant role of non-governmental organisations and peer support groups for parents. Yet a child’s fundamental rights should not depend on whether their family knows which organisation to approach, can afford a private psychologist, or is able to negotiate continually with institutions.
One supportive adult can make a difference, but cannot replace a functioning system
The study also revealed positive experiences. Some parents spoke about teachers, psychologists and school leaders who listened to their child, respected their chosen name and pronouns, responded to bullying, and worked with the family. Open dialogue between the school, the child and their parents helped reduce tension and create a more stable support environment.
These experiences show how much difference one adult’s response can make. However, a child’s safety should not depend on the luck of finding an understanding teacher or living in a municipality with an organisation that can provide support. Participants also emphasised regional disparities: competent professionals and community services are easier to find in major cities, while families in smaller towns more often face a lack of services and greater exclusion.
Individual initiatives based on goodwill are therefore not enough. Schools need clear national guidelines covering responses to bullying, confidentiality, the use of chosen names and pronouns, communication with families, and the provision of emotional support. Training for teachers and school support professionals must include practical knowledge about sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and minority stress.
It is also essential to expand access to competent psychological support beyond major cities and strengthen cooperation between schools, municipalities, child rights institutions, healthcare professionals and non-governmental organisations.
The first step is to listen to families and children themselves. The next is to turn their experiences into clear procedures, professional competence and accessible services. A child needs support today. That support cannot be postponed until the day their identity documents are changed.
The article was prepared as part of the project “CLICK: Connecting families, educators and policymakers to combat violence and enhance the wellbeing of LGBTIQ children through an intersectional approach,” funded by the European Union’s Citizens, Equality, Rights and Values Programme (CERV-2024-DAPHNE).
